12 things I wish I knew about postpartum | Advice from a postpartum doula

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The arrival of a baby is a life-changing event and the postpartum period is an important part of the transition into motherhood. It can be overwhelming to think about all of the changes that come with welcoming a new baby into your life, but having a better understanding of what to expect during this time can help make your transition smoother. Most soon-to-be parents spend time preparing for birth, but many neglect to consider the postpartum recovery period. 

Here are 12 things I wish I knew about postpartum

1. Physical recovery takes time

Rest and recovery time needs to be prioritized for the new mother. Rest is essential, and the quickest way for your body to recover. Physical recovery after birth can range from several weeks to even a few months, depending on your body and the type of delivery you had. Aim to follow the 5-5-5 rule: 5 days in the bed, 5 days on the bed, 5 days near the bed. Postpartum rest is one of the most important things you can do during the postpartum period to protect your health.

2. Postpartum hormones

The postpartum period is a time when your hormones are drastically adjusting from the hormone levels in pregnancy. The sudden hormone changes can cause a range of emotions like tearfulness, irritability, anxiety, and mood swings. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed, anxious, or even experience the baby blues for some days postpartum, but if these feelings persist longer than two weeks, do not hesitate to talk to a medical professional.

3. Sleep deprivation is real

Most new parents will experience exhaustion and overwhelming fatigue during the first few months after the birth of a baby. Night after night of interrupted sleep can directly affect your mood throughout the day. It’s important to prioritize rest and take naps when you can. Go to bed early, have someone else take care of the baby while you sleep, have your partner assist with night feeds, and sleep when the baby sleeps (yes, really!) as everything else can wait. And If your budget allows, consider hiring an overnight postpartum doula.

4. The dishes and laundry can wait

Yes, you heard that right. The dishes and laundry can wait. However, did you know that postpartum doulas can help with the dishes and laundry so you can rest, recover, and bond with your new baby? Check out this post for more information on how a postpartum doula can help manage life with a new baby.

5. Breastfeeding can be challenging

Breastfeeding is not always easy. It can be difficult both emotionally and physically. It requires lots of patience to establish nursing for both mom and baby. There are many great resources to assist you with breastfeeding support. Check out this post for book recommendations for breastfeeding and other pregnancy, birth, and postpartum information. Joining a new moms group can be helpful to meet other new moms, and get peer support for breastfeeding. A lactation educator can help you with breastfeeding support, and if you have more complex breastfeeding issues, an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) can be a wonderful resource. An IBCLC is a certified health professional who specializes in breastfeeding issues. Check out La Leche League, or Nursing Mothers Counsel for more information.

6. You will not have time to cook

There’s really no time to cook when you have a newborn. Eating healthy, nourishing meals is of vital importance in the postpartum period. Having nutritious food on hand can make your life easier. Consider preparing meals in advance or coordinating with family and friends to set up and organize a meal train. If you’re not the chef type, and looking for a healthy postpartum meal delivery then check out Mama Meals. Mama Meals prepares meals using principles from traditional Chinese medicine and Ayurveda blended with philosophies from Weston A. Price to create meals that warm the soul, promote healing, and eliminate all the cooking and cleaning that comes with preparing real food from scratch. I actually partnered with them and you’ll get $20 off using this link or use code: THRIVEDOULA.

7. Motherhood comes with a lot of learning curves 

When a baby is born, so is a mother. Motherhood is a calling, an identity, a battle and a journey all on its own. It’s a beautiful experience, but it can be challenging too. Motherhood is so much more than diapers and feedings. It’s an adventure filled with laughter, tears, joys, and challenges. Being a mother is a constant process of learning and growing, both as an individual and as part of a family. One of my biggest suggestions to a new mom is to join a new moms group, and build your mom village. Joining a new moms group is one of the best ways to meet other new moms. Check to see if the moms group Las Madres is available in your area, look for other new moms groups, or start your own group.

8. It can be lonely without a village

If you don’t have a village to support you, new motherhood can be incredibly lonely. Surround yourself with as many friends and family as you can to build your support team. It’s ideal if you can begin researching and building your support team before your baby arrives. Ask for recommendations for postpartum care providers from others. Put together names and contact information of perinatal providers such as: postpartum doulas, lactation consultants, pelvic floor therapists, licensed mental health providers, etc. Look around to see who you are already connected to. Consider your family, friends, neighbors, and anyone else you know that you would like to be part of your postpartum and parenting village.

9. Intense emotions of motherhood

The intense emotions of motherhood can be overwhelming at times. There are times of joy, and times of rage. Someone always needs you. Sometimes it feels like you can never get a break, or have a moment to catch your breath. Motherhood can bring you to experience your highest highs and your lowest lows. Not everyone talks about how challenging motherhood can be at times. Take a breath. Slowly take a deep breath in, and a deep breath out. Take a few moments each day for yourself. Close your eyes and breathe. Deep breathing exercises can help to reduce stress and clear your mind.

10. Take care of your mental health

It’s important to prioritize your mental health during the postpartum period and beyond. While self-care may take a backseat while caring for your baby and managing the demands of motherhood, try to carve out some time each day for yourself. Make sure you get fresh air every day, even if it’s just a quick walk around the block. Exercise can also be helpful in reducing stress levels and improving mood. If you have support from family or friends, don’t hesitate to ask for help. It can make a world of difference in getting through the postpartum period. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or struggling to cope with the new responsibilities of motherhood, talk to someone. Reach out to your partner, friends, or a mental health professional.

11. Be aware of PMADs

PMADS, short for Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders, are a collection of mental health disorders that can occur during pregnancy and postpartum. They include conditions like postpartum depression, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), and postpartum psychosis. Symptoms can manifest in numerous ways such as persistent sadness, excessive worry, intrusive thoughts, or drastic mood swings. It’s important to understand that experiencing PMADS is not a sign of weakness or failure in motherhood. If you suspect you’re dealing with PMADS, reach out to a healthcare provider immediately for help. Seeking help is a testament to your commitment to both your well-being and your baby’s. Postpartum Support International is a wonderful resource. You can call the PSI Helpline at 1-800-944-4773 or text “Help” to 800-944-4773 (English) or Text en Español: 971-203-7773.

Please note:

*The PSI HelpLine does not handle emergencies.
HelpLine hours are 8am-11pm EST
Services are in English and Spanish
People in crisis should call their local emergency number or the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988.

#12 The newborn phase will be gone 

Soak up this precious time with your newborn. Enjoy bonding with and snuggling your new baby. This phase goes by so quick. This well known saying regarding raising infants and children rings so true,”The days are long, but the years are short.

How a postpartum doula can help with postpartum transition

Postpartum doulas provide guidance, compassionate support and companionship to new families. They’re nurturing and caring, listen to concerns, share in milestones, validate, hold space, reassure, and bring lots of love to new families. Additionally, they will care for and snuggle your new precious baby. The role of a postpartum doula in a new family’s life is invaluable. The support they provide allows families to be more present with their new baby, and feel well cared for during one of the biggest transitions in their lives.

Typical offerings of postpartum doulas include: focused non-judgmental support, newborn care to facilitate rest and recovery time for parents, guidance and assistance with lactation and/or bottle feeding, simple meals and snacks prepared in the family’s home, help with light household duties, informational support to answer the many questions or concerns new parents have, and access to referrals to various practitioners as needed. Postpartum doulas support families during the fourth trimester, which is the first 12 weeks that follow the birth of a baby. If there are extenuating circumstances, some postpartum doulas will continue supporting families for an extended period of time.

What Clients Say About Postpartum Doula Care

“One of the biggest gifts Kristin gives this world is her presence and passion for helping others. Kristin provides compassionate care to families in an often vulnerable and delicate time in their lives. She is a caring, calm, and reassuring presence, and guides new families with focused care and attention. I couldn’t recommend her enough, especially since I experienced firsthand the difference her support made for our family.”
– M.M. Bay Area, CA

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